THIS WEEK AT BizzyLizzies
I've been banned from the dry cleaners. Clean whilst you wait doesn't apparently refer to what you happening to be wearing at this moment. I think they over reacted- at least I had undies on this time. I only wanted 'la orange' removing from the top of me dress- after I spilled the 'la orange' from my duck whilst dining at the three legged dog and gun down yonder village. Simples request really. No need for all that argy bargy and name calling. I am not perverted. Just someone who needed 'la orange' removing from my very expensive frock.
Him at number five with the ropey cock has, it seems, replaced the ropey cock that sounded like it was being strangled when it cock a doodle dooed, with four gooses and a much finer, more upright specimen of a cock (that's apparently mute- never heard it cock a doodle doo yet). I have been out trying to get photographs of them - not much success yet but hold the front page- I am working on it. I am also trying to photograph her at number threes bush in the back garden. Its beginning to flower. You have to be sneaky about this kind of picture taking because some people don't take kindly to sneaking round their back end taking pictures of thems bushes all out in flower.
HHMHND (Hot Hunky Marine Husband Next Door) is home on holiday this week. I must say he is keeping himself mainly hidden from view. Can't see the point in being home if he doesn't come out of the shadows for me to drool over. Last Summer he did his work outs in the garden, topless. Then mines landlady put in a new fence and now I can't see him easily. I thought about poking a few spy holes in it. But then I found out if I go into mines bathroom, stand on the loo, take down the blind so I can open the window wide and perch precariously on the window sill I can see him clearly. All was well until I lose me balance and end up head first in the loo. And I don't wanna be doing that again in a hurry. Mines landlady got really upset and said we was to stop blocking the loo.
The Vicar in Whimple has left me a leaflet inviting to me church to give me hope. 'There is no hope for me I tell ye' I told him on the phone. 'There is hope for every asshole' he said.. Mines Mr Husband said 'he probably said hope for every old soul' and that I should get that hearing test done. But I know what that vicar is like. I didn't even think I would be allowed back in the church after admiring his candles stick when the wind blew his cassock up over his head. It wasn't the admiring of the candlestick that caused the furore- it was my trying to blow the candle out apparently. And it wasn't a candlestick apparently. Well you lives and learns you do.
This week I learned that Bonny Langford is to join the Eastenders cast. That should knock that silly grin off her face- if she turns up smiling she be sure to have her jiggle balls nicked and someone will most likely hit her over head with an iron or an ashtray- or even worse a picture frame or a music box. Beware of little Bobby Beale is the only advice I should give her. Had half the nation on tenterhooks for a whole feckin year he did. He be worse than feckin Putin.
Note to self: (Reminder)- Do not clean teeth with Radian B.
I've been banned from the dry cleaners. Clean whilst you wait doesn't apparently refer to what you happening to be wearing at this moment. I think they over reacted- at least I had undies on this time. I only wanted 'la orange' removing from the top of me dress- after I spilled the 'la orange' from my duck whilst dining at the three legged dog and gun down yonder village. Simples request really. No need for all that argy bargy and name calling. I am not perverted. Just someone who needed 'la orange' removing from my very expensive frock.
Him at number five with the ropey cock has, it seems, replaced the ropey cock that sounded like it was being strangled when it cock a doodle dooed, with four gooses and a much finer, more upright specimen of a cock (that's apparently mute- never heard it cock a doodle doo yet). I have been out trying to get photographs of them - not much success yet but hold the front page- I am working on it. I am also trying to photograph her at number threes bush in the back garden. Its beginning to flower. You have to be sneaky about this kind of picture taking because some people don't take kindly to sneaking round their back end taking pictures of thems bushes all out in flower.
HHMHND (Hot Hunky Marine Husband Next Door) is home on holiday this week. I must say he is keeping himself mainly hidden from view. Can't see the point in being home if he doesn't come out of the shadows for me to drool over. Last Summer he did his work outs in the garden, topless. Then mines landlady put in a new fence and now I can't see him easily. I thought about poking a few spy holes in it. But then I found out if I go into mines bathroom, stand on the loo, take down the blind so I can open the window wide and perch precariously on the window sill I can see him clearly. All was well until I lose me balance and end up head first in the loo. And I don't wanna be doing that again in a hurry. Mines landlady got really upset and said we was to stop blocking the loo.
The Vicar in Whimple has left me a leaflet inviting to me church to give me hope. 'There is no hope for me I tell ye' I told him on the phone. 'There is hope for every asshole' he said.. Mines Mr Husband said 'he probably said hope for every old soul' and that I should get that hearing test done. But I know what that vicar is like. I didn't even think I would be allowed back in the church after admiring his candles stick when the wind blew his cassock up over his head. It wasn't the admiring of the candlestick that caused the furore- it was my trying to blow the candle out apparently. And it wasn't a candlestick apparently. Well you lives and learns you do.
This week I learned that Bonny Langford is to join the Eastenders cast. That should knock that silly grin off her face- if she turns up smiling she be sure to have her jiggle balls nicked and someone will most likely hit her over head with an iron or an ashtray- or even worse a picture frame or a music box. Beware of little Bobby Beale is the only advice I should give her. Had half the nation on tenterhooks for a whole feckin year he did. He be worse than feckin Putin.
Note to self: (Reminder)- Do not clean teeth with Radian B.
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