We went on an adventure to the pond. I love the pond. Tis
often a very peaceful place to sit and watch the world go by. I love to see the
moorhens and the grebe nesting and stuff and the terrapins basking in the sun.
I love to see the koi coming up to the top to see what's going on. Usually me
peering back taking their pictures. Last week we thought how nice now spring is
here to spend some time at the pond and see what is springing up. It was
beautiful. And spring stuff was springing up everywhere. Dangerous time spring-
buds are shooting and the cow slips about! Here was no exception and it was
busy with the usual strollers and photographers and the odd knob who thinks its
ok to feed the birds bread (It's not). When suddenly all we could hear were the
voices of two rather noisy old ladies coming from yonder bushes. They were
quite excitable so we know they weren't being hurt or murdered- unless that was
their particular thing. We didn't hear any whips cracking- just a few knee
caps. We guessed Mr Gray was not in attendance. Although I think mines Mr
Husband was very curious as to what two old ladies were doing in the bush. They
got louder and closer and then we spied them. It seems they were exploring in the
bush. With backpacks. They made a beeline for me. They didn't need to- I don't like beelines.
It turns out they had just found this 'lovely peaceful place', they shouted for
the world and his wife at the pond to hear. We heard how they had parked their
car in the 'forest' (I am not sure if they meant to or are even supposed to-
but who am I to judge- you gotta park where you can find a space these days) and
how they had found this place by accident (despite having a leaflet in their
possession telling them all about the place) and how thrilled they were to be
here in this lovely 'peaceful place', full of beautiful things. Of course they
were too be busy disturbing the peace to see the beautiful things. Mines Mr
husband slipped into tour guide mode and pointed out various things of beauty
around the pond and this seemed to excite them further. It's quite like him to
excite a old lady or two. And he so loves to help old ladies. It's a flight
safety thing. I think they are trained in it. Also he likes people to know he
is quite knowledgeable. Then they mentioned what a lovely 'peaceful place' this
is. 'Well it was' I said- 'then you two loud mouth gob shites appeared'. Mines
Mr Husband carried on with news of the koi carp and the king fisher. But they weren't really listening. Good job he
was. I asked them if they thought the pond itself looked nice. 'Very nice' they
enthused, 'Very peaceful'. Then, I am
sorry to say this guys, (but not very) I said 'Yes it is and very deep and very
wet' and then my hands slipped and I pushed them in. On the way down into the
water I told them all about the shark who was just waiting for feeding time. (I
am sure I saw one in there one day and it is a place where people abandoned
unwanted pets- fact). Ye never seen two old ladies swim so fast in all ye life.
They clambered out the other side covered in pond weed and as they stood there
gasping for air and looking a tad confused I called across the pond- 'and look
out for ye old bear lurking behind that tree'. (I know he does because I found
ye old bear shit there and ye old bears always shit behind the trees- that's
how you can tell the front of the tree from the back- fact - mines mother told
me that). I do hope they had spare knickers in thems back packs. Mines Mr Husband
stood there with his mouth open for the longest time. On the plus side he
didn't need feeding when I got him home. 'Shut thee mouth there's a bus coming'
I said. 'Now that', he said, 'in a nice peaceful Devon
location- I don't believe. I can swallow the bear and the shark but not the
bus'. I said 'With thee gob open that wide thas can swallow all three'. I
wonder if they two old ladies ended up with a parking ticket?
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