Knickers, Mothers Tits and Baked Beans

Well glad another that's another week behind me. Soon be Christmas. I feckin hate Christmas. Had a shaky start to last week. A bit dark to start with but I got better as the week wore on. It's called kidnap if you take and borrow passing people off the street and tie them up to talk to them and show them photos of your kids. Add me on face book I pleaded then I can show you without you having to sit here. But it was nice to have real people in the house. Anyways they was having none of it. Mines Mr Husband told the policeman-'it's the menopause mate- it makes her lonely and makes her cry a lot'. Cheek of it. 'No, I protested, it's being lonely makes me do it'. I wasn't helping apparently.

I had a good day when MMH told me I was only 51, not 52. Nearly peed me pants with excitement. I was breaking in a new pair that day. TIP OF THE WEEK ; Never have a whole day out whilst breaking in new knickers. You may need to abandon them when they get too tight. Not allowed back in Waitrose now. (I wonder if they have been found yet. I hid them behind them behind the baked beans).

I got me new Lady Magnet. Mines Mr Husband says this will help with the Menopause. I can assure him it don't be needing any feckin help. It seems to be doing a good job all by itself.

I found out if you soap the bottom of your feet in the shower you can get quite a nasty bump on your head. Don't be doing that folks.

Me and mines Mr Husband spent the day photographing mines mothers tits. We are going back next week to see them fledge.

Also excited to find I have 8 new followers on twitter- Mines Mr Husband says 'they are not followers pickle, they are stalkers'. Who cares. At least I have some friends now.

I took mines Mr Husband to Dunelm for a little treat yesterday because he has been very good. I don't think he wanted to go but I thought it he would enjoy it when we got there! He noticed me getting in very close for a look at some things. He said 'you seem to be very attracted mines little pumpkin to shiny things today- don't be thinking of spending too much money'. How the feck can you go in Dunelm without thinking about spending too much money?? We only needed face cloths. Our water is so feckin hard down here I am sure it's from Bridgwater. Anyways I had to point out to him 'I am not attracted to shiny things- it's this feckin lady magnet thingamajig. I am stuck'. Anyways he prised me off most things but the shiny kitchen chair (with the purple pagan seat) I have had to keep. So we did have to spend some money because they wouldn't let us have it for free even though I pointed out it wouldn't leave me alone. Also a set of saucepans, a colander and some nice knives and a candelabra.

Roll on a new week. I am expecting two more delivery guys (whoopee) and I am seeing Gavin the Osteopath - think it will be a good week. I am ordering a man and van as well for the house move. (Mines Mr Husband is having the van and I am having the man). And I have plenty of chocolate and cake!!