Tis quite quiet round ye know. I think all the kids in the
neighbourhood are off with all their fathers and sperm donors for the summer
holidays. Ye haven't heard me rave about the neighbours much yet. Well apart
from Chloe and Daddy and his brats two doors down. And ye I did mention she
next door at 19 - the ironing board shaped one with nice shaped bottom. The
other night I heard someone running down our stairs at 4am. I mentioned this to
mines Mr Husband. He said it wasn't him. He was tucked up in his little bed. He
suggested it may have been one of the neighbours- perhaps her next door- the
ironing board shaped one with the nice shaped bottom. I would like to know why
she was running down OUR stairs at 4am in the morning. I may have to have words
with her. She could be a little more quiet going down our stairs at such an
ungodly hour. Also I may have mentioned the skinny bitches over the road and
their penchant for jogging which seems to have stopped since I growled at them
when I was having a little stroll around the block one morning. Don't trust
skinny people who jog and don't eat cake. Over there also are Porky and Mess
who are more Pork pie and Cake shaped and most certainly wouldn't let a dirty
word like 'jogging' pass their lips- no room to let it- everything else is busy
passing through their lips. Also they like Pizza- big ones. And they like soft
loo rolls. I know this because I seen them take some in with the shopping. I
always wondered what kind of people ate soft loo rolls. Such people do exist!
Google it. I thought she had a scruffy ginger pussy and then I thought she had
an altogether much neater black one- but I seen Porky refusing it at the
entrance the other day so I am not sure which pussy is hers. Or even if she has
one! Oe-er, all these pussies must belong somewhere. I have yet to encounter
Jamie, wife and bump next door. I have seen the back of her (skinny bitch) and
her bump- she has a very unkempt black and white pussy. But as I have said
before- bitches with bumps just don't be having the time or inclination to be
keeping thems pussies neat. They can't see much below thems bumps and even if
an unkempt pussy winds itself around your legs you can only feel it and not
necessarily see it. I trust when bump has arrived pussy will get some attention
if it is lucky. I have glimpsed him
(Jamie) as he went by in the car. He has a beard and an elbow. She at number 25
has new windows. Over back in t'social housing - the cake shaped woman that
squeezes into a bright yellow dress and has dyed red hair- well I haven't seen
them for ages. That trampoline will be rusty soon. I may have to go over and
just have a bounce or two so I can see through windows to see what is going on.
On corner, up yonder, in big house she got a lot of kids. They be all
different-like the league of feckin nations. Usually her kids can be seen
playing in middle of road- the sort that stand and stare at you like you have
no business driving your car in the road where they are playing quite happily.
How very dare we? Saturdays is quiet when a whole load of dads line up on the
path to collect his child. Or even someone else's - who even knows? We like
Saturdays -at least we can drive confidently down the road without fear of a
little urchin lurching itself out in front of us and giving us the evil eye. On
this corner here a little yappy dog seems to be the sole inhabitant of the
house. No-one goes in and no-one comes out. The little dog yaps and yaps.
No-one goes in and no-one comes out. No wonder for that little dog's yapping
gets right on ye tits. But fear ye not friends for I shall continue to watch
and make notes. But I leave ye with one of me tips because I want to be going
out now to buy some pink grass:
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