Ye all been thinking that I been very quiet this week. Well I
been very busy. Monday I did visit mines Mother and Father and Mines children
and mines Mr Ex husband and mines sister (the one with the issues and the day
confusion).T'was when mines Mr Husband found he was having car issues and T'was
just before his nipples fell off! Then Tuesday I went to Tesco- tis always a
long day. I don't want to start Jam Sponge Pudding Gate again but Mines Mr
Husband also pointed not only do thems food banks want JSP they want feckin
custard to go with it. Mines Mr Husband won't let me go to tesco again if I am
going to rant all the way home he said. Also I stripped off and tried new PJ's
on in Aisle 3. Made the manager cross so I did- he has warned me about this
before. I said 'No ye didn't- T'was when I tried knickers on before'. Yesterday
we went Torquay. As soon as we got there Mines Mr Husband saw the bouncy
castle. Then it started 'I wanna go on the bouncy castle, Please let me go on
the bouncy castle'. Nag, nag, nag. Then he said 'No- mines little fruitcake- no
bouncy castle for you. The last time you bounced too hard and that little child
bounced off and went over the sea wall didn't he?' I reminded him T'was not my
fault if a stupid mother puts a child on a bouncy castle. Who is that stupid I
Ask you? They are not places for children. No Siree. Then he said ' The answer
is still no. You got that bladder thingy problem and soon as ye jumps and downs
its like a feckin flood. Plus that there squeaking I am sure was your rear end
and not the bouncy castle. If ye asks to go on it again I will put you in the
car and take you back home. And keep your clothes on'. I only pointed out one
fashion faux pas on this trip - all I said was 'Jeez woman, are you feckin mad?
A white dress, with a navy bra? and orange knickers with blue spots? Don't ye
have any fashion sense? ' I thought she was a tad irritable meself- (probably
PMT) but fortunately I am good at ducking. DUCKING I said. I thought 'mmm, good
jobs mines Mr Husband got a bit of padding round his middle or that could have
really hurt him'. Mines Mr Husband often commends me on my ducking skills. I
think that's what he said. Then we saw the Red Arrows. The weather was a bit
iffy and they said they didn't know if the Red Arrows would come. So I thought
'well I have never been one to be put off by a drop of rain' and I climbed on
the sea wall and Mines Mr Husband said 'Come down off of there at once'. I said
'no, if the red arrows don't come all these peoples will be disappointed so I
am going to show them my boobies'. The man from the BBC was on the sea wall. I
am sorry he fell off when I lifted my top. T'was a shock for him. Anways the
red arrows came and the one that went round the garden on Sunday- I am sure he
waved and shouted out 'Show us ye knickers sex kitten'. So I did. I am sorry
the man from the BBC fell off the wall again. Today I helped mines Mr Husband
mend the car because I am the brains in this outfit. Also had to protect mines
nipples. Going to be somewhat quieter now I thinks cos mines Mr Husband is
working - Saturday is coming and is sing along with Beth and Elvis day but
mines Mr Husband will be sleeping so I guess I will just be miming.
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