WEDNESDAY: 9.30am Pleased
with myself for identifying that the boiler is leaking.' How did ye do that
Beth?' I hear ye all asking. Simples I tell ye.I opened the door and found that
stuff was wet! So I touched the pipe and found that water was running down out.
That guys is how ye find out if ye boiler is leaking. I thought 'ooh, water.
That could mean the boiler is leaking'. And it is!! Well done me. Bet the FBI
could use my detection skills. And get this, I rang EON and told them, all by myself. I only panicked when he asked me for me email
address( for security reasons )because I gave him it and he said 'twas wrong.
Eeejit he is. Like anyone is going to ring to get them to fix someone else's
boiler!! Anyways the good news is I have had a nice chat to a nice man at EON
and the letting agent. And tis exciting because now an engineer has to call-
yay- company!! Ye know what that means don't ye guys? Yep thems of ye who knows
me well. Remember the parcel man in the summer? Or the old peoples who were
passing to visit the neighbours? Or Ivor the last estate agent? OH yay-
anything could happen.................
11.30 am Was good news- the electrician called in off the
cuff to complete a job he started weeks ago............I bet he wished he
hadn't. I am glad I had me bra on. Tied him up with the cable, put him under
the stairs for later.......Nigel due in two hours or less to mend the
boiler........................
3pm Doing well today- that's two men under me stairs today-
Nigel was glad too though- I think he thought I talked too much. Nice man- very
nice man. Although he did have a twitch I feel this may be increased slightly
by being under the stairs with Alan. Plus a message for mines Mr Husband from
him- don't keep turning the thermostat down!!!
10pm Ah mines Mr Husband is home again. He has hob knobbed
with the big knobs til he is all hob knobbed out. He said its lovely to be back
home with his hot sexy and beautiful wife. I told him T'was generous to say
such a thing and that I would pass in a crowd. Then he said 'yes but ye shine
as an individual'. I said 'no, I glow in the dark. Tis a different thing all
together'. He gone to his own bed for snorey sleeping now. Would be a good time
now to go and have a chat with Alan and Nigel in the cupboard under the stairs.
THURSDAY: Mines Mr Husband has found out about Alan (the electrician)
and Nigel (the plumber- with the twitch) that I tied up with cable and put
under the stairs for later. He says I am to let them go home. I did do as my
sister in law told me and presented each of them with a duster and polish.
That's polish as in Mr Sheen not the country Poland Polish. Turns out Alan the
electrician is called Andy (I thought he said Alan but then he did have tape on
his mouth) is quite nifty with a duster. Nigel not so. Also Nigel has a twitch
and tourettes and a heart condition. So I sent him home. I don't want nobody to
deal with that got a heart condition. I dance naked on Saturdays to Elvis-
don't want nobody having a heart attack on my highly polished wooden flooring. However, electricians are harder to get hold
of. Ye know I waited 6 weeks for that man to fix my light and then the cheeky
fecker wanted to keep the bulb I paid 10squids for. So I think I will be
keeping the Alan/Andy person for the foreseeable future. I won't tell Mines Mr
Husband because he gets funny about me keeping men under the stairs in our
little cupboard. He goes on about Human Rights and stuff. I don't believe in
all that. Not when it comes to getting an electrician. Also he will be handy
for untangling the xmas lights. We haven't actually had xmas for some years now
(cos it hurts soooo much- xmas is for families) but I do like to untangle the
lights to keep up with tradition. They are blue our xmas lights- just by chance
they match mines little sisters hair (the one with issues, day confusion,
constipation and accidental blue hair). She will be chuffed that our xmas
lights match her hair.
I have consulted with my rice krispies this morning. They
have told not to do anything but sing today but I have to make bread
today. Don't wear the wrong size bra
peoples- its dangerous for ye health. Or don't wear one. Just put one on when
ye goes out so ye don't get nipple burns on the pavement.
Gotta go now- the electrician say he needs a wee. Don't want
damp patches in me cupboard.
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