Sunday 1 May 2016

May Poles, Nudity and Goolies



May Day for dancing round Maypoles naked. Don't have one, so going to hang stuff on the whirlygig thingamajig in the garden and dance naked round that instead.
'After we have danced round the maypole - erm washing line whirlygig thingmajig, naked what shall we do on this cold, wet, windy day my little fruit cake?' mines Mr Husband said. I was just excited at the word cake. So I bought one. 'Lets run naked along the sea wall in Exmuff' I said- he knows I loves to do this. 'Erm- lets not' he said. 'It be far too chilly for that- tis a bit nipply noodles out and it be blowing a goolie or two'. Anyways I persuaded him to take me up the Muff just the same and up the Oracle. He has no shame - he will take me anywhere that man. I ran naked along the cliff tops sending all kinds of peoples and pets into frenzies and one or two got black eyes. Tis very busy up there on a Bank Holiday. Couple of cows looked a bit surprised as well. Anyways I had a roll round in the grass to get some perfect cliff top pictures and now I have grass stains in places I can't be showing me mother. Mines Mr Husband went dressed for hiking up a snowy mountain in the arctic. He was still shivering. It be because he very old and I forgot to take his tarten blankie. Poor Soul. I had to bring him home and thaw him out. He be having a nice warm on the sofa with a cup of something to warm his cockles. I be fine I be. I do like to feel the wind racing through me hair. Me own fault I forgot to shave. Try to remember next time.

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