Friday 13 May 2016

Knickers, Lasers and Tinnytitsups.



Its looking good as mines Mr Husband plots our (that's him, me and Elvis) months long road to tour the coasts of Britain right up one side to the tip of  Scotland back down the other side to wherever we feel like going- if we feel like coming back of course!! I am planning on how many pairs of knickers I will need (this won't take much planning), how many bath mats and ornaments I shall need. I have worked how many Elvis Cds I shall need- loads cos it be a very long way! Shame we can't go in the pea- it has a hidden tray for cakes and Scooby snacks and fandabbydoozy cd player that plays Elvis Cds one straight after the other.  I am only worried about having to sleep with him As ye all know we sleeps separate for the sake of elf and safety- HIS. He has tinnytitsups in his lugholes and tis very loud.  This is not the same as 'tit in a tin' that me muvver used to give us for tea every Wednesday. No this loud ringing and in his lugholes like I said. I can even hear it in my room and that across the landing and through two closed doors!! If ye lives near enuff to the edge of the world we could be coming very close to a drive near you for a cuppa jollop and a gossip!! (Oh and a photograph or two!!).

I am thinking today of getting some little halogen bulbs fitted to mines boobies. This will help me see things better-like mines feet for instance and where I am putting them on a dark wet night. Or day even. Mines Mr Husband says 'go for laser beams pickle- they are all the rage'. But alas I fear this will be too dangerous as I hear they could bring an aircraft out of the sky. I do listen to the news you know!! Mines Mr Husband said 'no little pickle, your boobies will never point in the direction of the sky again'.  Not sure I like his attitude.

I think someone has been adding miracle grow to my bush- it has grown very thick and fast all of a sudden. Drastic trimming in order I think or I won't be able to get through the front door!

I have been watching GP thingy program. Getting a few ideas for next time I visit mine.  I never know what to go with. So far got hand, foot and mouth, get ears syringed, see if I have sprained an ankle or two and make note to get prostate checked! Also check to see why I can't get pregnant. Although mines Mr Husband says that all they will tell me there is that the hysterectomy I had five years ago is thing that complicates this issue. Never fear I will keep trying. I don't give up easy- no siree!!

I was excited in the week when Mines Mr Husband said he ordered me a harness. It came today. I think its a bit too small. And white- Who orders white for a woman of my age?? Anyways he insists that it is meant to have long sleeves and they are meant to do up wound the back. All I can say is that tis a good job that I don't wear knickers- there would be times throughout the day when I would struggle with getting them down.

We had a nice trip to see mines muvver and mines favver in the week. Mines Muvver invited mines Mr Husband to go to the garden and see her tulips. Her tits haven't made an appearance yet this year.  I think tis cos its a bit on the chilly side. Anyways we got some nice photos of her tulips. Worth the visit said mines Mr Husband. Think he is looking forward to his next visit. He never knows what he will be showed.

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