55 and Counting, Bumps and Wet Fish

Well today is the day. Mines Mr Husband has reached the grand old age of 55. To be honest he nearly didn't after last night. He washed up the cups and then turned off the kitchen light and shut the door because we was on the way to bed. Tis his little ritual. Then I asked 'did ye empty the bowl of washing up water?'- tis an annoying little habit he has of leaving a bowl of dirty washing up water. Remember I said he sometimes gets on me piggin nerves? Well this is one thems things. Anyway his answer was this 'not yet, just in case ye might want to do some washing up!' he said making his way back in the kitchen to empty the bowl. At this time of feckin night really?? 'Well ye have turned the light off and shut the door and we are off to bed', I pointed out. Then he said 'well even YOU are capable of opening a door and putting a light on'. That man sure knows how to get my dander up sometimes. So I reminded him that I am the one who will be giving him the bumps for his birthday so he should be careful what he says to me. (Well he be too heavy for that now and I got a dodgy hip so I am going to get him to stand on a chair 55 times and then I am going to push him off.) This was just after he started counting the stars. He started counting the stars just after I slapped him with a wet fish. Salmon nonetheless because we are posh here. Well it wasn't wet. Oily. And it was still in the tin. You would think at the grand old age of 55- yes 55 he would have learned to duck be now. As I left the kitchen I told him- put the light out and shut the door on ye way up to bed and don't get up in the middle of the night and put the extractor fan on like ye did the other night. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY OLD MAN!!!