Missing A Body

Most people who know me know I am not a panicky person in a crisis. I am more likely to assess the situation and make a cuppa tea. Most things can be solved with a bit of calm and a cup of tea. And nine times out of ten its the right thing to do because it's usually a storm in a tea cup and very rarely a tsunami. In which case there is little one can do and panicking is fruitless. And lets face it who wants to die panicking? Anyways I will tell you about the day, a few years ago, I panicked. Mines Mr Husband, before he was mines Mr Husband, was in the office and I was in the lounge (gee we are posh). We did have a big house at that time. I thought he was very quiet, although he doesn't make much noise really- well unless he's backfiring- then we all know about it. So I went to check on him- you know like you have to when a small toddler goes really quiet. When I looked in at him- I was shocked and scared and I panicked. He was slumped in his chair with his face dropped on one side and he was just staring. I went over to him and spoke to him 'oh mines Mr Boyfriend are you ok'. He never moved or spoke. I poked him gently. He never moved. I ran round and round in little circles in such a panic. I grabbed a phone and I tried to dial 999 and the phone wasn't working. I have always had that nightmare ever since I can remember- and here it was happening. I needed to call 999 and the phone was dead. I ran and grabbed another phone and managed to call 999 'Quick, come quick, mines Mr Boyfriend is dead' I sobbed hysterical by now. 'How do you know?' the daft woman asked. I told her how he was, all slumped and his face contorted and starey to the point of scarey and he wasn't using his computer. She told me an ambulance was on the way but meantime I should go in and talk to him and check to see if he was breathing and had a pulse. She calmed me down somewhat and gave me instructions and I gingerly went back into his lifeless body. I got to the room and more shock awaited. 'He's gone, he's gone' I was really getting hysterical now. First I had a dead mines Mr Boyfriend and now I had none. 'How do you know he's gone, have you checked his pulse?' the woman was saying. 'No, you don't understand, he is gone. His chair is empty, the room is empty- his body is gone' I ran out of the house and up the drive and flagged down a passing ambulance. Luckily it was coming to out house because I called for it. In thems there days you didn't have to wait an hour. I ran back in the house with the paramedics in tow telling them he was dead and someone had stolen his body. They looked at me like I was gaga. But it was true. Mines Mr Boyfriend was dead and then stolen. When we got back to the house he was just walking up the hallway still dead- he was a zombie. He couldn't speak and his face was still contorted because he was the living dead. Thankfully these paramedic people are very good and they said 'it's ok, he's not deaded. It seems he had a stroke and we need to take him to the hospital'. Anyways the moral of the story is this - don't leave yours men alone to long at the computer because they may have a stroke without you knowing. Mines Mr Husband was diagnosed with Bells Palsy which is something to do with a little stroke or something and given some pills and sent back home. I don't leave him on his own too long though. And next time he dies I will stick to plan A and make a cuppa of tea first.