Doctors, Camel Toes and Goldfish

Yesterday I went to the Doctors and succeeded in prising some antibiotics from her- it would have been easier to prise lemon drizzle cheese cake from my friend Anna (and that my friends is no mean feat). I tried explaining about my poorly sinuses and how I have battled and all she wanted to know was about the moment in my days when I am engulfed in dark moments that I cannot cope with. For a short time there I was thrown- I don't even know how she knew about it. Anyways I baffled her with long words like bi-polar and aspergers and read me notes me dear. I told her it was a good job that waiting room wasn't packed or she wouldn't have seen me arse for dust. Then I talked to her about the sixties, the merits of moving to the Isle of Wight according to mad aunts, how dangerous Putin is and how I think he has that missing plane. I told her about Auntie Sylvia's cousin Arthur (3x removed on my sisters brothers side), next door neighbours nieces bosses constipated goldfish. (She looked like she was following it). Then I finished telling her about the ingrown toe nail my psychotic sister has on her camel toe. When I started singing wrecking and ball and looking for a space hopper she gave me some antibiotics- yellow and red ones after I specified I am allergic to the yellow ones. Oh and a lovely new white jacket with modern belts and buckles, very trendy too. Then she muttered something about 'don't call us we will call you' and then me 7 minutes were up. Well she did ask! This morning I have a rash and thrush- might have to go back.............