Nice Xmas, Beards and Santa.

Sooo back to work today for everyone- although mines Mr Husband has not been home yet because the big fat slimy granny murdering bastard who buys his wife aftershave for xmas and steals other peoples promotions from under thems nose is a giant prick. (Note here he hasn’t been near work for almost a fortnight- although in fairness he is probably helping her in doors with her beard). I am pleased because Jumping Jerk Flash, (aka Billy Banana no friends my next door idiot) is gone back to work- I keep going out and walking up and down the drive just because I can without the idiot popping up from behind the wall to scare me half to death. Today is the day when everywhere you go (and indeed the rest of the week) when everyone says ‘Did you have a nice xmas?’- and everyone says ‘yes, quiet. And you?’ (Not really caring if you did or not). Nobody says ‘Well not really- I over ate to keep up with Santa, I am up to debt in my neck and have to go bankrupt  because the kids would have suffered enormously (in my mind and to ease my conscience) if I hadn’t of bought them everything their little hearts desired’. Or ‘it was too painful for me because no-one wanted me cos I am a miserable fecker’. Or ‘No- we had aunty Violet again- she sat in the corner sucking on a lemon and farting every three seconds and blaming the cat and filling our room with an aroma of old lady and rich tea biscuits’. Or ‘I didn’t get anything I wanted for xmas- I am so pissed off with everybody’. Yes Guys I am sooo glad I don’t go to work! Of course I have to go to the shops- and we all know the till staff are trained to ask ‘Did you have a nice Xmas’- and I will say ‘Quiet, and You?’ And then she will say ‘Yes’- Now can you please get off the conveyer belt and put your clothes on. Something along those lines. I get that every time I do a shop these days. Some people have no sense of adventure.