Walks, Boobies and Wellies and Chunky Nuts.

ME:  'Tis a nice evening Mines Mr Husband'.

MMH: 'Tis indeed. We should go for a walk'

ME: 'Nah, it's too far for me with my pain tonight'

MMH: 'Too far cupcake?'

ME: 'Yep. We should go for a walk in the car'

MMH: 'Go for a walk in the car??'

ME: 'Super duper idea, I shall get me coat and me camera'.

So we went to the pond at Bystock and had a teeny weeny stroll. T'was a very lovely evening only spoiled by five loud, very loud, uncouths youths who had clearly never been taught how to behave in public or around wildlife. It marred my little walk it did so I got mine own back. I didn't tell them about the bear in the woods. Haha- that showed them so it did. Don't p**s me off or I won't warn you about the bear in the woods.

On the way home when mines Mr Husband was travelling at some speed, (practising for the grand pricks he is) I yelled STOP- all in capital letters just like that. He came to a skidding halt and I jumped out of the car (our tyres was a smokin!) and I came back with a souvenir for him. I must say he can be very grumpy at times. I found him a lovely welly. T'was size 11 I grant ye that. But he could stuff tissue in the toes. I used to do this with my bra until thems boobies got so big that I can't even find a big enough bra. I been on at him for ages to get wellies in case we gets flooded out. I got pretty blue floral ones (wellies not boobies). He once had some wellies but he left them in the garage along side mine and they became home to several families of mices. 'Look Mines Mr Husband' I said- 'I have found you a souvenir'- he tutted and sighed. 'It's a knackered old welly boot that I have no use for what so ever- and its all broken to boot'. To be fair it did look a bit sad. 'Tis ok mines chunky nuts' (tis a term of endearment I use for him), 'I can stick it back together with serious glue and t'will be good as new'. His brow was very furrowed by now. 'And what good will it be when it is repaired? One welly that is massive?'. It was massive and I pondered about the previous owner.!!! So I told him 'You have several choices as I see it 1) You can drive a bit slower and we can see if we can find the other one, 2) You can keep it until we find another one, 3) You can wear it with the trainer I found you the other day (although I am still searching for a lace for it) or 4) you can hop!' Now he was losing patience and ordered me to put the welly back where I found it and get in the car. 'You get in the feckin car' I said. 'I am in the car' he replied (a tad sarcastically I thought if  I am honest) NOW GET IN THE CAR (all in capitals like that he said it). 'Nope' I said defiantly 'I am not going home without the welly'. He was getting red now (when he gets red he is not to be tangled with- I know this for sure- but still I wanted to bring the welly home for him. They are expensive are wellies. You ask any welly owner.) 'I will stay here so I will with the welly'. We had a stare off. Then I gave him my hardest Paddington hard stare. Then he said 'Oh very well, get in the feckin car and bring the damned welly with you'. After we reversed out of the hedgerow we went on our way in silence. I think he was mad with me so when I seen the dead badger- that to be honest I thought would go nice with the one I brought him back off mines holiday, I kept quiet. I am planning to take the car when he is asleep and collect it myself for him and save it for fathers day for him. He doesn't usually get much for fathers day and I think a dead animal always cheers him up. Or I could be mistaken. We will see.x