Stroking Bushes, Cleavage Secrets, Holding his Nuts

Always looking for alternative health solutions I recently discovered that using coconut oil to clean your teeth is good for you. I have started having a bounty bar for breakfast followed by a glass of malibu. Don't know why I did think of this before.

I love the fact that Saga magazines (for over fifties) have a dating page- it is littered with people in their 70's and 80's trying to find that special one. I love the fact they all end with ring me now. I would like to add to that- ring me now, hurry up- limited offer, I may be here today but gone tomorrow!

A little tip for you ladies- men put your fingers in your ears- buy a size bigger than normal bra- preferably one to lift that cleavage up. Then you can use the extra room to store naughty snacks. Not with chocolate though because you enter a whole different kind of naughtiness.

A big farming store near us stock Super Lube in 5litre tubs- for super lubing days I guess. Most impressive. Find it next to the rubber gloves.

A new study shows that men are best to catch at 8.15pm for serious conversation. Pointed this out to MMH- he looked at the clock and said 'well I am afraid it is 9.20pm now so too late I am afraid. When is the best time to have a serious conversation with a woman, do you know?'. As it happens I do. 'yes I tell him, it is apparently at 8.20am - but don't ye feckin dare'. Anyways the best time to have a serious talk with a man is when you have his nuts in your hand and the stapler in the other! Full attention guaranteed!!

Mines Mr Husband took me to look at a new house today. We are going to have a proper look at in it the week. Inside and everything. He assured it me it was number 16 with the brown door and the red garage. We sat admiring it for sometime and decided we would like to at least rent the outside. I would like to apologise to the woman in the house at number 16 for my need to get out and stroke her very dashing bush. I so have bush envy this week. I would further like to apologise for mines Mr Husband getting out and also stroking her rather dashing bush. I became very excited at thought that in a few weeks this bush could be all mine and me and mines Mr Husband could stroke it until our hearts content. I thought about that lovely bush all the way home. Only to find out that the house we should have been looking at was number 61, with a green front door and a white garage and a much less appealing, if not somewhat unruly bush. Mines Mr Husband is clearly feckin dyslexic and colour blind. If ever a girl got disappointed about a bush tis I. What's the betting if we move there we will both be sneaking round to number 16 regularly just for a stroke or a glimpse of her bush.