I bet you are all thinking that BizzyLizzies been quiet this week.
Well I can assure you all I haven't. You ask mines Mr Husband. I have been very
vocal and very busy this week. I haven't even been able to fit in a mood swing
between his this week. He is still suffering I think from disappointment
of losing out to BNC (brown nose creep) who didn't really want the job anyway.
WTF?? Giant sized arsehole. But will he step aside and let mines Mr Husband
have what is rightfully his? Nope! Gripe over! (for today). Mines Mr Husband
had a weeks holiday this week. The first since Christmas. We were supposed to
be adventuring all the week but Yodel and Argos
buggered that up. We did go to Sidmuff one day and I took some very nice
pictures. A little old couple came and asked 'aw what are you
photographing?' Bit nosy I thought!
'Nature' replies I.
'Me and mines Mr Husband are keen naturists' I said. Well he suddenly had a bit
of a twinkle in his eye did this old fella. Turned out so were they! Invited us
back to have a sherry and look at his wife's bush and go on the swing- or
something along those lines. Mines Mr Husband dragged me away just as I was
explaining I can't do swings cos it sets me vertigo off but the Sherry sounded
good. I am particular to a drop of Croft. Mines Mr Husband said 'my wife didn't
mean naturist- she gets her mucking words fuddled- she meant naturalist'. I
shouted back at the old chap 'we do get naked sometimes but I am always getting
into trouble for it'.
Tuesday I had to collect the new camera (feckin finally).
What a pavlova. Anyways all sorted. We had to travel to Bridgwater to collect
it and so we went and seen mines mother and mines father and mines little
sister (the one with the issues) - she was being a good girl that day. She ate
all her roast dinner up and it was a big dinner. Then she ate all her pudding
up. She didn't try to tweak my nipples or anything. I got my new set of wheels
- old folks look out- here I come and I will show you how to drive one of these
here go karts. Now I will be able to have adventures and get away from the
policemans a whole lot quicker.
Wednesday - I would love to tell you what we did Wednesday
but I really can't remember Wednesday at all..........I think I must have
missed Wednesday out. I am not even sure if we had a Wednesday here. Tis Devon you know.
Thursday we stayed in and rowed all day because Mines Mr
Husband was having PMT.
Friday we mooched about then went to the Bystock pond. There
was some noisy toddlers there so I failed to warn them about the bear in the
woods. Serves thems right. Making a noise and frightening stuff. Then we went
to Exmuff and we had a Chinese down by the estuary. That is Chinese meal not a Chinese
person. She that served us had her extra special jiggle balls in on the highest
setting. I hate overly cheerful people. Especially at 5pm! Ruins your day.
Saturday we went house hunting but mines Mr Husband was
having a mood swing again. He argued with the sat nav. She said 'in 0.2 miles
turn right'. He missed it. To be fair that wasn't much warning. 'Recalculating,
recalculating- in 0.3 miles turn right, turn right, turn right'. He slowed down
looked up a tiny narrow lane and said to her 'you must be feckin jokin, I ain't
taking my car up there'. Then she said 'what are you? Some kinda of arsehole? I
don't have all day to recalculate just because you don't want to go that way.
Why did you even bother to ask? Well do it your own way'. I sat there bemused.
Then I quietly said ' I think I better switch you off because you are riling
mines Mr Husband and he is going to punch you on the feckin nose in a minute me
thinks'. So we didn't look at any houses. Well I did see a nice one, but
someone lived in it. She had a lovely bush on a display for all the world to
see. Very neatly pruned too. I don't mind admitting it- I had a bit of bush
envy right at that moment. Then the brakes broke on the car and mines Mr
Husband had another mood swing. I blame BNC. We came home and had a row and he
mended the car and I went for a kitty nap. Tis always best when they are in a
mood. PTYND had a birthday party yesterday. I wasn't invited (I think I worry
her because I said I could eat her scrummy baby) but I sent MMH to sneak in the
back door and bring back some cake. He wouldn't go. I said 'tis Ok, you don't
need the sat nav'. He said 'I don't need to go next door - we have cake in the
kitchen'. Still I think you can never have enough cake so I pushed him over the
doorstep. He said 'will you stop pushing me over the edge woman, you are going
to push me too far one day'- I said 'just go next door and get some feckin cake
and stop moaning'. Anyways we got cake and party poppers. Already popped but I
can stuff them back in. There is a recession on.
Today he has gone back to work and it is Sunday and you know
what that means - loud music and naked dancing!!
And on a final note (phew) I have been advised to call my
fans 'friends'. So now I have three oscillating friends and two ceiling
friends. xx
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