All out of flying fecks to give

Well that was a long shopping trip for milk and posting letters. I would like to apologise to Curries for spending so long in there and not buying anything- Oh and pulling that vacuum apart and making all that mess all over the shop- oooops. But I may buy one- one day. And I may also buy that large speaker thingy with the blueteef whatsit and the disco lights. You know the one with 500 thingy sound. I am disappointed that it has no thingy to put my tape in or my cd whatsit thingy. However, I think it would be perfect for me and my mate Elvis to have a sing-along to the neighbours with. Infact we (me and my mate Elvis) think all of Cranbrook and Exeter can join in. Bonus.

 I suppose I should apologise (but I am not going to) to the angry looking man, the one with a face like a cat shitting razor blades, (yes you know who you are you miserable looking fecker) in the Sainsbury car park for beating you into that space. But to be fair Mr Husband was driving- I have no control over that. He is a law unto himself. Mines Mr Husband would definitely not like to apologise and he doesn't give a feck. In fact he is actually right clean out of fecks- even flying ones. He ain't a man to be tangled with after the shift he has just done. I tell ye, I don't tangle with him- I give him a wide berth. Plus Every man for himself in the bad weather at xmas. Serves ye right for going out at the same time as us. Actually we waited until the busiest time of the day so we could actually piss you off as much as possible. 'Lets go out whilst it be really busy and there are lots of peoples to annoy', I says to Mines Mr Husband.

Talking of annoying people- to the BNC/BFG (brown nose creep, big fat git) you are beginning to push your luck big time. Ringing mines Mr Husband on his day off after the shift he has just done. I would say I am sorry if you are having a crap time as well but I am not going to. You wanted that job. You took Mr Husbands promotion because you are a selfish, self centred fat Barsteward. Did you work hard for the last ten years for that job? No you didn't. Did you set up and get that branch running when there wasn't even a coffee cup let alone a coffee bar (you know the place where you spend most of your time perching your humongous ass)? No you didn't. He did- because that promotion was on the cards. And you sneaked in with your spy and whipped it from under his nose. So if the job is tougher than you thought - Good! Karma is a bitch and so I am- so don't mess with the Zohan and don't mess with the Beth. Simples. Never Vex she who can Hex!! I hope that job drives your fat nuts into the ground and I hope your mother gets a boil on her bum.

And finally Mines Mr Husband thinks I should apologise to the family sized gateaux from Iceland shaped woman who I gave advice to in Tesco whilst choosing your Christmas outfit- But I won't because to be honest love with an ass like that you should not squeeze into leggings! No really, you shouldn't. Merry Xmas though just the same. (P.S- if you want to get into the top- maybe lay off the mince pies this year-yeah?).