Fireman, Knickers and Naked Cycling.............

Excelling myself today. Did me exercises and then went for a jog (well a gentle stroll around the estate). I see the skinny bitches out jogging. I growled at them. I shall be fair glad when they put that chip shop in at top of road. I shall be able to get me fish n' chips whilst out on me jog. Also I been Clearing dressing room through and mines Mr Husbands bedroom for our first visitor next week (the postman and the handyman don't count because they didn't stop long enough to sleep). He said 'mines son is coming to visit next week'. Be jeepers I thought. Where will he sleep? 'Where will he sleep?' I asked Mines Mr Husband. He looked thoughtfully whilst I added 'He can't be sleeping with me, he shall have to be sleeping with thee'. Mines Mr Husband very practically said 'Well he can sleep in my room- I shall just have to sleep in your bed with you my little fruitcake'. Hmmm- this didn't take much thinking bout. I told him 'Well if that be me choice he better sleep in with me after all'. Not much feckin choices offered now we have a smaller house. Also this week Mines Mr Husband has ordered me an exercise bike so I can practice for these naked cycle rides. That has arrived today- just after I been for me jog an all (well gentle stroll round the block)-but after reading about Sir David Frosts son dropping dead at the tender age of 31 whilst jogging I have decided to knock that exercise lark on the head. I know I am only 21 and a bit but even so- don't want to put meself in danger unnecessarily. Also the fireman put a bag through my door asking for me old knickers. What are knickers I ask them and what ye be wanting with mine? Dodgy if ye ask me. I pointed them in the direction of Ebay. Ye can get old drawers on there if ye perverted enuf. Invited them to do a demonstration with thee old hose but they declined saying they had hot stuff to attend to. I told 'em, 'I be hot stuff ye know and me old man be out'. Off like a shot they was. Still I tried!