Bushes, Bike Parking and Nipples

We was watching the advert for the new Vauxhall with the integrated bike rack. 'That be nice' said mines Mr Husband. 'Mmmm' I says 'I know someone with one of thems'. He was curious then. 'Who do ye know my pickled pumpkin with a new Vauxhall?' I don't know what he was on about - 'No-one' I says- 'I know someone with an integrated bike rack- her across the road- the family size gateaux shaped one- I've seen it when she bent over tending to her bush'. Mines Mr Husband looked very shocked that I noticed things like this- but I have all day to observe such peculiarities when he is at work. I also think tis a bit nippy tonight. I been out to get mines washing in. 'Tis bit nippy noodles out there' I said to him on my return- 'Put ye feckin clothes on then on- it not be good for ye nipples' he said. I nipped next door to she that be shaped like an ironing board. 'Do ye think it be cold me dear?' I asked her. She agreed- 'Yes, it is a bit chillier' she said. 'Turn thee heating up a bit then' I said- 'We feckin freezin in yer'. I don't think there was any need for her to take a swing at me. Tis supposed to be all economical this all electric, skinny bitch house. T'would be more economical if she would turn her feckin heatin up!! And on the plus side I have booked an anniversary holiday treat for me and mines Mr Husband- seeing as it is as anniversary on the same day as mine. I am beginning preparation for grand adventures!!