Thank you all for my birthday wishes and messages. It didn't
look like it was shaping up into much of a birthday especially after Mines Mr
Husband said I could have sex then cancelled both Johnny Depp and Colin Firth.
Anyways we started off in a little place called Starcross near Dawlish. Seemed T'was
just us two. Then, betwixt you and I, I think Mines Mr Husband was trying to
get rid of me. First he took me across a live railway line. Very dangerous
place to take someone with arferitis, but I can recommend it if you want to put
a spark back in your relationship! Then he enticed me down some very dangerous
steep steps onto a little used shingle beach. Well little used by peoples, much
used by lots of birds though. We seemed to walk for ages. I tell ye, Mobility
walkers are crap on shingle. I kept saying to him 'Mines Mr Husband, are you
sure this tide is going out?' I tell ye I am the brains in this outfit. He kept
saying the same thing 'I be quite sure mines little pickled pumpkin'. After a
while he took me under the railway bridge- so say to see the kingfisher. To be
fair I did catch a glimpse. And of the kingfisher. We just be settling down on
a nice sunny patch of shingle and I started shouting 'It be coming, it be
coming'. Mines Mr Husband said 'Not yet- I haven't got me coat off yet'. I
panicked ' No look ye behind ye, the sea it be coming'. Again he tried to
reassure me that it wasn't but he took a closer look. 'Mmm, yes' he said , 'I
think ye probably right my little pickled pumpkin'. Oh my I thought I was going
to drown right there and then. 'Would it be a good time to tell ye mines Mr
Husband that I can't swim?' as water lapped mines feet. I tell ye, I am lucky
to be alive-especially as he took me on the live railway lines on the way back
as well. It be a good job I had me birthday suit on. There was a notice with the Samaritans help line number on it on
the fence. I took it off. I have saved for him. He will need someone to talk to
if he tries to kill me again.
P.S. It was exciting having a birthday on a
Thursday. I have never had a birthday on a Thursday before. It is always a
Wednesday or a Friday.
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