Monday was a nice day here in
Sunny Devon in the South West of England- the sun was shining very brightly and
still warm enough to go out without a coat. I enticed Mines Mr Husband to the
outside world and we had a road trip to the beautiful Brixham where we watched
Seals frolicking and the Beautiful Torquay where we watched Kestrels catching
dinner. The evening we ended up on Paignton beach- we didn't wash up with the
tide or anything- we droved there. We watched the sun set- not over the sea as
Mines Mr Husbands promised but over yonder hills. Well he watched the sunset- I
collected sea shells and tormented the waves with my 'shall I or shan't get me
feet wet' method of collecting shells. Funny though, I was the only one the
whole day who was in me bikini. Mines Mr Husband didn't want to wear his.
In Torquay the £1 shop had a
sale. I was most thrilled. Mines Mr Husband couldn't see the point of
everything being reduced to 90pence. But I said 'look 'ere mate if I buy 10
things I have saved a £1. You stick with me kid- I will show ye thrifty'. I
bought two boxes of chocolate brazils
and a huge box of jaffa cakes. Mines Mr Husband said 'that don't be looking
very healthy shopping'. So I chucked in a dieting book. Still he grumbled. So I
explained how healthy it truly was: 'Brazil Nuts are one of me five a day-healthy.
Chocolate is made from Cocoa beans- a vegetable- healthy. Jaffa
cakes contain Chocolate- see above; also orange jelly- Orange one of me five day- healthy; and
sponge- contains eggs that are good for you and also come from chickens. This
means I have practically got a roast dinner in this basket. And on top of that
there is milk in chocolate and this means I am getting calcium for me bones
which is important in old people- so I am willing to share my roast dinner with
you'. He just sighed.
In Brixham I heard an old man
say 'Come yer and let me take your top off'. I didn't need asking twice and by
the time I reached him I already had me top off. Mines Mr Husband, ever
vigilant grabbed hold of me and made me put it back on. 'Why you do that and
jiggle your boobies to that old man?- he nearly had coroner'. I was a bit confused if I am honest. I did
think it was a bit of a racy suggestion for a place like Brixham. I thought it
may have been his birthday or his last day on earth or something. I am all for
helping someone have a good birthday or a last day on earth so I am. 'He asked
me too', I told Mines Mr Husband. 'No he didn't' he said- 'he was talking to
his wife- she couldn't get the top off her bottle of water'. Well how the feck
was I supposed to know. I would like to think I brightened an old mans day.
Thems across the road have
come home with thems new baby- I am still trying to get a peak. They keep her
covered with a blanket. She must be well feckin ugly. I know it is a she because
they told Mines Mr Husband it is called Grace. Unless they are calling boys
Grace this day. 'Tell them to call her Gary'
I said. 'The world is running out of Gary's'
I said. He said it was up to them what they called their baby. I still think I
should have been consulted. Anyways her, the mother, (the family sized gateau
shape one from Iceland
with the integrated bike rack that has just had the baby called Grace), has kept
her bush in very good order. It is blooming and a real pleasure to see when I
looks out me kitchen window. I takes me hat off to her. Some women let thems
bushes go to wrack and ruin when they have a baby so they do.
Also this week- The Russians
are coming.
No comments:
Post a Comment