Vajazzle, Singed Minge and Soap

Mines Mr Husband was upstairs at the window. No don't get all excited. He wasn't cleaning or flashing. He don't do cleaning windows if he can help it. Its against his religion. He don't go much in for flashing either. Anyways he was stood there and he shouts down 'Oh gawd, here comes thunder thighs, walking like she has lost her hoss'. 'Who you talking about?' I said. 'Dirtie Gertie, yer mate with the vajazzle'.  Remember I told you we went to the nail bar and she had a vajazzle done? Well turns out she got an infection. I had to take her back to the nail bar. I said 'we will get a taxi cos I don't be wanting you sitting in my car with an infection like that with no knickers on and I bet you ain't had a shower in a fortnight- ye be a dirty fecker'. She don't like water. Or soap. I kid ye not they had not seen an infection like it. I told her 'ye should have just had the muff buffed mate'. She can't walk at all now. They had to take the blow torch to it and now Dirtie Gertie got a singed minge. Won't be just her face she won't be able to show in there again I tell ye!