Getting a Grip, Large Willies and Going Metric

I love my Samsung phone ye know. 'Why do ye love yer Samsung phone Beth?' I hear ye cry. Well I tell ye. It's because of the scheduling text thingymajig. Yesterday I was able to schedule a text and send it to myself to receive at 7am this morning. I won't be doing that time again- I was still asleep and fecking woke meself up!! On the plus side I wished meself a Happy Birfday. I know the brighter ones among you will be saying 'Your birfday is surely in September Beth'. Well, the official one is I know- according to mines mother (who reckons she was there when I was born) and the birf certificate I have. But I like to have two birfdays. So I am celebrating my 22 1/2 with 30 years and 2weeks experience birfday today. I am looking forward to cake. On the downside mines Mr Husband forgot it was mines other birfday and he hasn't bought me anyfink. Good job I still got some of the icing left he bought me for last years birfday!

I have been pondering what asshole put the two words 'fun and run' together. What is fun about it exactly? I didn't think the 40 mile fun run I did with mines Mr Husband (whilst he was dressed as superman) was much fun in my sleep last night- I have very feckin sore hips this morning.

Also I ask mines Mr Husband if we leave the Eurothingymagjig will we be able to go back to feets and inches? I have never been happy with the new metric doodah not since 1971 when they changed it. Mines Mr Husband pointed out that I was only 8 at the time and I should be used to it by now. Why? Why should I? A girl knows where she is with 8 inches. I argued with him (and a very valid point if ye ask me)- who ever says ' look at that 2km of willy'. He says 'nobody because that 2km is = to 3miles (I told ye ye learns someat new everyday- who knew? )and furthermore, not only but also, who would want one that big?'. I says 'my sister probably wouldn't mind giving it a bash. She is game for anything'. Anyway he says its time I got to grips with it. I tell ye I am grappling with it- he be a bit annoyed cos he wants to get dressed- I wish he would make his feckin mind up- either he wants me to get to grips with it or he don't.