Cake, Pet Mats and Orgasm Socks

Just before we was going to bed last night mines Mr Husband asked me 'Could ye eat a nice pole?'- I said  'I don't know any poles'. He said 'no- I didn't be saying that- ye aren't listening are ye?- I said could ye eat an ice pole- the frozen sort'. I said to him  'Oh no, you haven't been running round the garden again with no trousers on have ye cos t'will be more like a frozen pea than an ice pole'. He called me rude and went to bed. I don't know where he gets his ideas from. Me - rude!!

I have just been taken in Dunelm by Mines Mr Husband- he will take me anywhere that man- he has no shame!! We saw a tin that said CAKE- I lifted the top. Liars- no cake at all. Very disappointed. Then in the next Mines Mr Husband 'Look mines little fruitcake..............' I said  'Don't ye mention cake where I am at the moment. I am still reeling from the disappointment of the last aisle'. So he said 'Look Mines little Pumpkin - A Furry Pet Rug- do ye wants one?' I said 'No- cos ye will only argue with me over who will take it for walks'. Also just above it was Pet Bowls. I would rather have a nice little dog if I am to have a pet. They got nice things in Dunelm but I didn't see it all. Mines Mr Husband said that he was in a bad mood today- so I didn't want to push me luck or he might piss on me chips. Also the pea behaved reasonably well........ perhaps it loves me after all.

Well that's one thrilled and traumatised delivery man this morning- he gets me naked (apart from me orgasm socks) leaning out the window telling him I am coming- and I turn around to see Mr Husband halfway down the stairs to open the door- also naked (minus the orgasm socks because he doesn't have them- orgasm socks that is) and shouting I'm coming and the pet bed, complete with pet bed noises, running along the hall to join in! That'll teach ye delivery man for waking us up at an ungodly hour. I mean who the feck is up at 8.30 on a Monday morning.!

I haven't given ye a Beths top tit for ages. Ye might find this useful this week with this weather. If ye decides to bury any bodies under ye patios make sure they nice and deep down and the slabs are well in place. This rain just washes them back up otherwise. I may know this from experience and I may not. Also you may need an umbrella this week.