Tis been a funny week here what with me uterus and me ovaries going missing and all. Thrown us all the week it has so much so that Mines Mr Husband didn't remember he had to go to work one day- 'twas the granny murdering barsteward who steals other peoples promotions that reminded him. I don't know why Mines Mr Husbands forgets all the other things. He must have the dementia coming on. He is old now. He had another birfday last week. He stayed at home and chilled and I bought him burgers and a cake. No wild parties here. I did offer to take him in the supermarket to show him I have no shame like him but he reminded me that I was still on a ban for the naked in the freezer thing whilst singing 'do ya wanna build a snowman'. So here is this weeks musings- sorry for the shortness but thats how I was born. Little and lovely. Also the blog is shorter cos we have been all at sea this week- (the uterus and the ovaries thing).
Well at Mines Mr Husbands behest me, Bob and Elvis been to
the shops. Tis 4mins there and usually three hours back. But I found a short
cut today and it took 4mins home as well. Bob and Elvis wanted to go on tour
but I put me foot down with a firm hand today. There was some air cadets at the
shop - I guess they are going to pester shoppers to pack their shopping all
day. Well the girl with the ample bosom and the family size gateaux from Iceland bottom
with integrated bike rack and mud all over the back of her uniform (I am
alluding to nuffin)- well she said she was cold and didn't want to stand there
anymore. (It's not even cold in Devon today-
not bikini weather either and I wish I hadn't worn mine). The lanky lad with
the nervous stomach and a penchant for sticking to rules said 'we can't sign in
for 5mins yet'. (Thems are the rules). She said she didn't give a stuff and she
was going in anyway- and so she did and all the others followed. The lanky lad with
the nervous stomach and a penchant for sticking to rules was saying 'we are not
supposed to go in for another 5mins'- but he went anyway. I said 'God feckin
help us if our country gotta rely on you lot in a war. God help us when the Russians comes a calling. Can't follow rules-
can't stand in the cold- charging in before waiting for the command'. Please
don't ever let that bunch carry out air raids- it will be surely hit and miss-
much like the shopping they will be packing for customers today. On the plus
side a girl who likes that much cake must never be toyed with -especially when
she is on a cake mission!
I learned also that :
Research has shown that 65% of people who eat two eggs a
day for breakfast lose more weight than those who don't. Tis true cos I read it
in the Bella magazine. So it seems I need to have more cake for breakfast cos
that it is how I prefer me eggs on a morning. (That and unfertilized!)
And finally I want to give thee a Beths hot top tit:
A man, last year was killed in his bedroom by his python who
loved him a little bit too hard. Now this has made me think hard about all you
guys who take to your rooms alone to play with you pythons. Tis dangerous. So
if your python is over 4ft long please don't go locking yerselves in your room
to engage in loving and petting with it without a chaperone. A chaperone can
not only observe but could save your life if your python loves you just a
little too hard!! Don't say ye haven't been warned! (P.S- I would recommend a
good lubricant so ye can slip free if necessary- pythons aren't as slippery as
they always look)!
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