Party the Naked Way

Yesterday we went past the old house. I see her at number 3 was having a party- music and lights and everything. STOP- I shouted to mines Mr Husband. He always get a tad tetchy with me when I doos that. Miserable fecker. Anyways I stripped off, got me party hat and me party poppers outta me bag (always prepared for anything like a good boy scout) and went to her at number 3's party. Tis not rude to go to her party naked before you say anything. She likes it. I once caught her looking at me whilst I was flashing mines boobies at my husband. She was peering right through my bush she was. Anyways I rocked up yesterday squirting crazy string and blowing me party doofer. She didn't seem that pleased to see me I thought. How rude. I asked for cake- and she said they didn't have any. I said 'just a smidgeon and I will be happy'. Anyways after much ado she came back and handed me a dead pigeon. Silly deaf fecker. Anyways it didn't go to waste. I have saved it for Fathers day for mines Mr Husband. It will the only present he gets. He will be glad of it. Mines Mr Husband dragged me back out by me pony tail and said 'Ye are too quick to jump in at parties. Naked as well'. He gave me a right ol telling off. Well how the feck was I too know it wasn't a party. How the feck was I to know her husband was having a heart attack and the music and the flashing lights was the paramedics. You lives and learns you do.