Up The Muff

Mines Mr Husband took me up the Muff yesterday. We haven't done that for a while- and we had to get stuff done. T'was very wet and wild and I ended up with backache. Also Mines Mr Husband is getting too old to cope with wet and wild. Personally I like the Muff when tis wet and wild. Although tis true the tide was out. Then Mines Mr Husband took me in the chip shop. I Tell ye- he will take me anywhere that man. I was allowed to choose the table. 'Choose a table' he said. I chose a nice sturdy one away from people- I haves me dignity don't ye know. Plus its been so long since I been out I am not in a people person mood. Not only but also but I tries to keep Mines Mr Husband away from peoples (for thems own safety) after a night shift. Lets just say he is not a people person after a night shift- especially an unexpected night shift. In fact he is less person and more sort of bear with sore head. Anyways I chose a table away from people but near the window so I had a nice a view of the 'Everything is a £1' shop. Now MMH is expecting me to apologise to the holiday making woman from Birmingham (I ask ye, who goes on holiday to the Muff in January- get a grip holiday makers - we don't want ye down yer in January- we have to psyche up to ye visits- especially if ye are coming from Birmingham!)- yep apologise. Well ye did get on mines tits with ye incessant chatter whilst I was being taken in the chip shop. I told ye I am not a peoples person. And that my little brummy friend is how ye ended up head first in the deep fat fry. No apologies. Please don't be a coming yer again in January and try to engage me in small talk in my corner of the chip shop, specifically chosen away from peoples, whilst I be being taken. Tis bad mannered of thee.