Coming through the letter box............

IF ye thinking ye haven't seen me much well, tis true ye haven't. I have been busy- knitting. Yep knitting. What the feck are ye knitting? I hear ye cry. Well I am knitting a dolly for a little person. Despite following the pattern its seems I be knitting a little person. Unless the pattern is wrong- that could be it. Yeah- I bet that is it. Still I will motor on until it be finished. We had a lot of trips to wool shops. Well they not be made of wool- they just sell wool. Tis a very tricky job picking the right wool for this job. Mines Mr Husband isn't very interested in wool so he wanders off and examines googly eyes and such stuff. I found some baby knitting patterns- 'lets make a baby' I called across to him at the googly eye department. 'What in here?' he called back. 'Is that allowed in a wool shop?' Old ladies were gasping and one came all over unnecessary and another peed her pants. Well she may have done that before she went to the wool shop - I don't know. I waved the baby patterns at mines Mr Husband across the way. 'Look', I said ignoring the assistant have a little flap in the middle of the shop at the thought of me and mines Mr Husband making a baby in her shop, 'look', I says to him 'we can knit one or even purl one or both. T'will cut out the messy bits of baby making'. Phew- sighs of relief all round the shop. T'was the very way mines Mr Husband came into this world he assures me 'I was knitted and pushed through a letter box' he has told me on many occasions. I told him that I can tell that this is the Gods honest truth because whoever knitted his face dropped a stitch (or two) and his ears have been sewed on up side down. T'is the only reason I can think for his deafness.  And I can only but guess his little squashed bits are where he came through the brushes in the letter box. He agrees he was a bit of a mess but argues ye should see his sister- she was made up of the oddments. I have warned him mind you- 'any trouble from you me ol' cocker'- I said to him 'And I shall unpick thee and make a tea cosy and a pair of socks out of thee'. Tis how I keep him under control. Well I have to be off now me ol' babbers. I got another leg to knit!