Anniversary Surprise and White Sharks

Mines Mr Husband: ‘What are you doing pickled pudding?’

ME: ‘Writing down some ideas for Wedding Anniversary surprise for mines muvver and favver. They need cheering up’.

MMH: ‘Let me see’. (Takes my list only yet half done)…. ‘Mmm- I am not sure about this list’ then he starts to read it back- like I didn’t know what I had written but then he put a question mark into all the suggestions:

Wing Walking? Parachute Jump? White water Rafting? Abseiling or bungee jumping (ask their preference)? Sky diving? Segway rally? (ask about dodgy hips) Power boat thrill? Extreme dodgems? Snowboarding? Roll them down a hill in a big see through ball? (Posh people call it zorbitting), Race car thrill?’ He then says ‘Well you just take them for a drive – that will do it’- then he got to the bit Swimming with white sharks and he gasped. ‘Swimming with white sharks? What made you think of that? Do you really, really think they would want to do that? Really?’ I tells him ‘well they liked it at Tropiquaria a couple of years back’. He said ‘Well they didn’t swim with white sharks there and all the fish and whatnot were behind glass in big tanks. They didn’t get in and swim did they?’ I said ‘well, no, tis true but mines favver put his hand in the ‘experience the sea pond thingy’ and touched a star fish’. He said it was hardly the same thing (I beg to differ) and was dangerous. I said ‘mines muvver and mines favver live for danger’. He said ‘I don’t think so- what are you trying to do- wasn’t giving them your deadly flu enough?’. I said ‘I think you will find you gave them your deadly flu!’. He said ‘I think some flowers and chocolates would be better and safer whilst your mum is waiting for her heart thingy’. See what I mean about him. Now he wants to piss on their cornflakes as well.